Tits in their brain

The Sun breaks its new record on the number of boob-centred 'stories' in one day.

The Sun has always harboured a creepy obsession with mammary glands. From Page 3, to four and five, it's quite an achievement when you manage more than three Sun stories in a row that don't involve a woman's breasts. It's as if they assumed that their average reader's attention span is incapable to stay focused without the aid of a pair of bacon bitts shoved in his face every two seconds.

Today, however, we can safely say that Britain's best-selling rag have surpassed themselves. All those who purchase their Sun to jack off may like to know that, usual page 3 aside, their favourite paper also features:

- a 17-year-old tennis player who wants a boob job because what the Sun calls "her net assets" could end up costing her "vital points" (including video of her playing - just in case);
- 'Bra-vellous': pictures of Girls Aloud wearing bras;
- Katie Green going topless in Turkey;
- Nurses to get free boob jobs complete with picture of plastic woman posing as sexy nurse holding the stethoscope where her nipple is. The quote is...quelle surprise...'Busty';
- a 'picture special' with Katy Perry "busting out";
- Lewis Hamilton's girlfriend Nicole naked in the shower with a cartoon bubble that reads "Mmm...fancy soaping me all over Lewikins";
- Page 3 Idol, the finalists;
- Cameron Diaz pictured in her "tiny bikini";

And that's just what you can spot from the Masturbation Gazette's Home Page.

And don't forget: the Sun does not, I repeat not, objectify pieces of meat. If you think otherwise then you're an elitist. And a snob.