The Eurovision Song Context and the naff within ourselvesCertain things you simply can't get away from. One of the few certainties of my life was that I would never sit in front of the Eurovision Song Context like everyone else. They watch it, moan about it, cry that it's "unfair" and "OTT" then twelve months down the line, are at it again. Well, never, ever, say never. This year I joined everyone else's ranks, and all it took was five minutes before I too started whingeing that it's "all so political", "naff" and "a fix".
Just look at those votes. Refreshingly, even the Spanish commentator, Terry Wogan-style, was pouring scorn on the procedure. Former Soviet-bloc countries that back each other, the Danes -clockwork- allocating their points to Sweden and Norway and vice versa, Serbia voting for Russia and Russia voting for Serbia and so forth.
And what for? A pageant of Barbie-like tarts complete with ample cleavage, fake tan and token homoerotic dancers in the background. Musically, it's mostly a cross between Aqua's Barbie Girl and Dana International, bogged down in early 90s' techno and not moving, all completely devoid of irony. Spain's Chikilicuatre and France's Sebastian were the only acts who introduced satire and a touch of wit to the night (without, let it be said, relying upon tits, arses and stiletto heels) and look how badly they fared.
The UK came last again, but if the contestant of choice is a reject from three X-Factors ago doing a karaoke impression of a Simply Red b-side, then you can blame rigged votes for all you like, there simply will be no chance.
Just look at those votes. Refreshingly, even the Spanish commentator, Terry Wogan-style, was pouring scorn on the procedure. Former Soviet-bloc countries that back each other, the Danes -clockwork- allocating their points to Sweden and Norway and vice versa, Serbia voting for Russia and Russia voting for Serbia and so forth.
And what for? A pageant of Barbie-like tarts complete with ample cleavage, fake tan and token homoerotic dancers in the background. Musically, it's mostly a cross between Aqua's Barbie Girl and Dana International, bogged down in early 90s' techno and not moving, all completely devoid of irony. Spain's Chikilicuatre and France's Sebastian were the only acts who introduced satire and a touch of wit to the night (without, let it be said, relying upon tits, arses and stiletto heels) and look how badly they fared.
The UK came last again, but if the contestant of choice is a reject from three X-Factors ago doing a karaoke impression of a Simply Red b-side, then you can blame rigged votes for all you like, there simply will be no chance.
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