Totally Calum Best: The best is yet to come

When someone is famous purely for sticking their penis into other people, what happens when the pure reason for your fame is taken away?

Ah, Calum Best.

Son of the late football legend George Best and a man whose only reason for celebrity, apart from being born to the former, is his acute inability to keep his meat in his knickers.

Calum is a gossip magazine staple, often seen falling out of trashy nightclubs with even trashier women of the sort who wear one fishnet stocking as a full outfit and henceforth has more notches on his bedpost than a woodworm infested relic from an antique shop.

From this, Calum has gained a reputation as a ladies man, shagger, casanova, megastud, playboy and other macho-backslapping complimentary terms, and has forged something of a career out of it, although nobody really knows what career he has exactly.

To add to his sticky CV, Calum now has his own TV show on MTV1 - Totally Calum Best: The best is yet to come, (kudos to whoever came up with the witty title) in which he has to go for 50 days without sexual intercourse or any form of sexual action bar kissing and hugging. Obviously, he is constantly surrounded by titilating young women, with titilating, er, bosoms and other obvious charms. This feast is filmed in LA, where Calum says he hopes to "change people's perspectives" of him. He admitted in a recent interview in Star magazine, that he wants the people of Britain to see him in a different, more mature and hesitant light.

Two things that bother me about this man, and specifically this show. Firstly, I find it rather sad that this man has obviously sunken so low into the deep recesses of tack and seediness that he feels he needs to make a TV show to prove to Britain that he can, poor chap, resist a nice pair of tits. I also find it worrying that he cares so much about public opinion to say such gems as ''I dont mind being seen as a playboy, but as a seedy lothario? That's just not me" Choice words from one who has made such an effort to be seen as a sophisticated, Ferry-esque womaniser and not, the repulsive, Z-list groping bratty son of a millionaire that he is.

When someone is famous purely for sticking their penis into other people, what happens when the pure reason for your fame is taken away?

Lastly, I wonder how this programme can boost Calum's career prospects, and if it does miraculously re-verginalise him, will he be left with anything? Who will he be exactly? The Boy Formerly Known As The Shagger Calum Best?