Wednesday, December 09, 2009


A review of the most comical disaster movie ever produced.

Though you may have been warned it's a bit tacky and OTT, nothing can prepare you for the comical/cheese feast that comes under the guise of 2012.

Sure, it may be epic, awesome, imposing, grand and nail-biting if you're a 12-year-old boy who finds great solace in computer-generated apocalyptic scenes. Otherwise, to say that it's just too much is an understatement.

Now. There's nothing wrong with disaster movies and computer-generated scenes. Independence Day, The Day After Tomorrow and Cloverfield, for instance, were all excellent at what they did. Perhaps because they tried not to overdo it, a concept that was utterly alien to the makers of 2012.

Because, if there was ever a Scary Movie-like comedy equivalent of the disaster genre, 2012 has got to be it. It's absolutely ridiculous.

Leave aside the fact that tens of millions of people die to the total indifference of the heroes (a point already made by Madam Miaow); the first half hour shows about 56 scenes where said family - led by John Cusack- manage to escape the most extraordinary disasters known to man.

Nevermind the ground may be literally opening up, mountains crumbling, airport runways splitting in the middle and giant hurricanes sucking a city into oblivion. And nevermind the little kid may be screaming "mummeeee!!!" at every turn: our heroes are always crucially a second -literally a second- ahead of the disaster. Whether they're on foot, in a car, a private jet or a big fuckoff Russian Antonov, it's immediately obvious that they will all escape without a scratch. Which already renders the rest of the film redundant.

Add the fact that there are no backstories, subplots, quirks or intriguing bits whatsoever and, also, that the characters, each of them carrying the same depth as piss on pavement, are certified superheroes.

In fact, Superman, Batman or the Incredible Hulk couldn't even hold a candle to John Cusack, Amanda Peet & co as they casually escape the end of the world hopping from pillar to post. Compared to the Curtis family, Bruce Willis in Armageddon is basically like Alan Partridge.

And yet, our advice is go and watch it anyway. It may be atrocious on the disaster movie front but, as for laughs, 2012 is simply unbeatable.


Ben E said...

I'm glad it's not just me that is irked by 'red shirt' syndrome in popular media. I think it was Stalin who said something like 'a single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic'.

Anita said...

Absolute pile of crap. I'd say only worth the admission fee if you're a kid. Your review didn't mention it's also an incredibly long and played out film.

Daniel Hoffmann-Gill said...

it is really fucking bad, a shocker and really long at that.


r4i software said...

2012 is good movie but not the best. I appreciate people involve in this movie, the images and effect was amazing, I
watch 2012 with all friends and ver stasfy, love the movie but not the story