Cultural illiteracy? You ungrateful rotter, look at what The Sun and Girls Aloud are doing for you
What a match made in heaven, Girls Aloud and that fine purveyors of news known as the Sun. As Murdoch's paper simply strives to bring you the latest about the nation's favourite girls, it also has to fend off some fierce competition. Look at those jackals at the Mirror, for instance. In their constant quest to outSun the Sun, they printed Cheryl Cole's EXCLUSIVE revelations that sex makes her "happy". It begs the question: will the Sun manage to survive the sharpening intellectual tools of its peers? At Hagley Road to Ladywood we still think they will. Who else would otherwise display the investigative skills that are able, for one, to disclose Sarah Harding's capability to eat scotch eggs ("Sexy Sarah scoffs a scotch egg")?
Not to mention the revelations that, after having dinner with her bloke, Nadine Coyle checked into the Sanderson Hotel! And there was even a touch of poetry when The Sun wrote of "why the world is a better place when the sun comes out" as a reference to their Sarah gets her lovely legs out exclusive. But just in case you thought they were turning a little too frisky, note their fine display of balance and professionalism, as they reported Harding's rejection of all those "claims that she leads a promiscuous lifestyle" (Sarah: I am not a slapper).
Or who else would have the audacity to treat the reader with, would you believe it, the news that Cheryl Cole was seen signing autographs (Cheryl Cole shows off signature style)? That may all be quite ordinary. Until you realise that the Sun were there, thank god, when Sarah Harding decided to head for Morrison's down the road (aren't those gals just so full of lovely, bubbly personality?). Otherwise we'd have never found out that she bought "oven chips, chocolate biscuits, crisps and ready meals" and that Jamie Oliver would have a fit if he knew.
And in case you let those malicious thoughts get the better of you, remember why all those articles are so incredibly short. Make no mistake, those Sun journalists would have so much more to opine about, but they don't for the public's sake. By keeping it nice and crisp, in fact, they can devote more room to "stunning pictures" which is all for the readers' visual pleasure.
What a match made in heaven, Girls Aloud and that fine purveyors of news known as the Sun. As Murdoch's paper simply strives to bring you the latest about the nation's favourite girls, it also has to fend off some fierce competition. Look at those jackals at the Mirror, for instance. In their constant quest to outSun the Sun, they printed Cheryl Cole's EXCLUSIVE revelations that sex makes her "happy". It begs the question: will the Sun manage to survive the sharpening intellectual tools of its peers? At Hagley Road to Ladywood we still think they will. Who else would otherwise display the investigative skills that are able, for one, to disclose Sarah Harding's capability to eat scotch eggs ("Sexy Sarah scoffs a scotch egg")?
Not to mention the revelations that, after having dinner with her bloke, Nadine Coyle checked into the Sanderson Hotel! And there was even a touch of poetry when The Sun wrote of "why the world is a better place when the sun comes out" as a reference to their Sarah gets her lovely legs out exclusive. But just in case you thought they were turning a little too frisky, note their fine display of balance and professionalism, as they reported Harding's rejection of all those "claims that she leads a promiscuous lifestyle" (Sarah: I am not a slapper).
Or who else would have the audacity to treat the reader with, would you believe it, the news that Cheryl Cole was seen signing autographs (Cheryl Cole shows off signature style)? That may all be quite ordinary. Until you realise that the Sun were there, thank god, when Sarah Harding decided to head for Morrison's down the road (aren't those gals just so full of lovely, bubbly personality?). Otherwise we'd have never found out that she bought "oven chips, chocolate biscuits, crisps and ready meals" and that Jamie Oliver would have a fit if he knew.
And in case you let those malicious thoughts get the better of you, remember why all those articles are so incredibly short. Make no mistake, those Sun journalists would have so much more to opine about, but they don't for the public's sake. By keeping it nice and crisp, in fact, they can devote more room to "stunning pictures" which is all for the readers' visual pleasure.
1 comment:
I chuckled when I read this:
Otherwise we'd have never found out that she bought "oven chips, chocolate biscuits, crisps and ready meals" and that Jamie Oliver would have a fit if he knew.
Well put there, Mr C
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