Who Runs This Place?

Single mums, freeloaders, social workers, immigrants and council houses. The tabloids are pulling the strings like never before.

Anthony Sampson once wrote a successful book called Who Runs This Place? It was an insightful journey into the balance of power in Britain. The Government as against the civil service; big business and trade unions; the BBC and the judiciary. But if Sampson was still alive today, he'd probably want to edit the chapter about the media.

If there's one thing we're in agreement with The Sun is their belief that they can influence the outcome of elections ("The Sun Wot Won It" made history). All you need to do is remember, if you can, the way Labour performed olympic levels of genuflection since the days of Tony Blair without a single grey hair.

Still scepitcal? Ok, how about this week? As we've heard ad nauseam, the cases of Baby P and Shannon Matthews triggered an unprecedented onslaught of tabloid headlines and 'editorials' about the urgent need to: a) sack social workers; b) scrap benefits; c) target scroungers; d) kick single mothers up the bum. Asylum seekers and immigrants? Just hold that thought, will you.

So what has the Government pledged to do? First Ed Balls wasted no time suspending that Haringey witch. Then James Purnell made sure he briefed the media on his mission to tighten benefits and stop the "life of dependency" culture. "LOOK TABLOIDS! TAKE NOTICE! WE'RE DOING WHAT YOU WANT!"

And so how about the immigrants then? How long ago did the tabloids mount that other military campaign about that Afghan freeloader who was handed a West London mansion by the council? No worries, this time New Labour did their homework alright. Here's today's headlines from The Sun and the Daily Mail about "Migrants to earn dole and house" and "Immigrants will have to wait 10 years to claim council housing in massive benefits clampdown". Enter would-be British hero and Immigration minister Phil Woolas: "If I lose my job, I lose my job", and one more thing, Mail journo, make sure you got that written down.

Because now, if you want our benefits, this is what you have to do. One, work hard (and why not). Two, be law-abiding (for god's sake we ain't gonna let criminals storm Britain). Three, do voluntary work (throw another requirement in, just in case those cunning immigramus think it's too easy). Just for a few years. Then you'll finally be allowed to enter EldoradoLand and ask for those benefits and go back to your scrounging natural self, you immigrant.