Thursday, July 30, 2009

Flu panic updates!

Brace yourself for the mother of unholy alliances: pigs and chickens to create a mutant superflu, says the respected Daily Star.

In a massive journalistic effort, today the Daily Star asked Celeb Babes, supervixens and 'wet and wild busties' to step aside for two minutes as the newsroom reported a fresh Swine Flu warning.

Coming from Russian scientists, which to readers of the Daily Nipple may sound even more chilling, "swine flu and bird flu could mutate into a deadly new superflu", especially when "people live in the same premises as pigs and chickens", the latter a possible reference to Rebecca Loos.

"The danger emerged", the article by one Emma Wall continues, "as shock statistics showed 100,000 Brits were infected with swine flu in the week ending July 19, double the number the week before" - regurgitating the lie circulating last week.

100,000 referred in fact to the number of people seeking information (i.e. phoning helplines or making an inquiry about their aching joints) and not to those officially diagnosed with H1-N1.

The piece ends with the assertion that "latest Health Protection Agency figures show there have been 26 deaths in England linked to the virus". But last we heard, it was 29. Can the papers even remember or could it be that three have done a Lazarus?

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