Now, picture the scene. Imagine you're one of the 760,000 Britons who invaded Spain in the last ten years (and that's a lot of people in ten years, especially when you think they're mostly concentrated in the same two or three areas of Spain).
Imagine that every single day, relentlessly, the three best-selling Spanish dailies are ramming the point home that the British, as a whole, don't integrate, they can't pick up a word of Spanish, they put a massive strain on public services, they open their own shops, pubs and "British supermarkets".
Then opinion columns start popping up that accuse "the British" of building unlicensed villas that spoil the landscape. That, because of them, entire areas are "losing their identity".
Then, each time a Brit is caught doing something naughty, from street-vomiting to drunken brawls, from gang rapes to drug-dealing, they hand it the front page, perhaps with the headline "Costa del Crime", like the website dedicated to the several British gangsters resettling in Spain.
Like, imagine the public outcry that would follow a story like this ('Briton arrested after trying to shoot Spanish guard who caught him urinating in public') being given the tabloid treatment in the Spanish press, along with regular stories of promiscuous clap-prone British youths swamping nightclubs.
In the meantime, local far-right parties based on a platform of "send' em home" and "show them the door if they don't integrate" start making unprecedented electoral gains.
As tension keeps going up, imagine one day you open the paper and you read that a "respected historian" goes off on one on the fact that Brits keep giving their Spanish-born kids English names. And that, if you don't count the spelling difference between Jon and John or Stephen and Steven, "as surely seems logical", then English names are "right up there, near the top of the list", a sure sign that "a British tide will not merely transform [Spain's] traditional culture but, frankly, bury it".
And yet you're a law-abiding citizen. You love your adoptive country. You get on with everyone here. You've been working and paying tax like clockwork. Perhaps you've even lent a hand at the local Community Centre. How would you like it if you were constantly made to feel that "your lot" are doing something wrong?
Now, reverse the situation and look at Britain's deteriorating race relations.
Look at what "respected historian" Max Hastings scribbled in the Daily Mail last Friday. In a remarkable rant, Hastings bewailed the fact that the 'Mohammed' is now one of the most popular first names in Britain. If it wasn't for different spelling "variants" "as in Mohammed, Muhammed and so on", he writes, "then Mohammed is right up there, near the top of the list".
And yet, in these days of BNP/EDL-centred headlines and racial tension showing its ugly rear on Britain's streets, it is often advocated that 'the Muslims' are the one religion/ethnic group that should be blamed for stoking tension and giving gangs of racist thugs a new lease of life.
That an ugly brand of fundamentalist Islam exists is undisputed. Soaked in misogyny, homophobia and deep intolerance, ironically it has quite a lot in common with the doctor-murdering right-wing Christian nuts who are so prominent in the US.
What is baffling, however, is that ten years of tabloid-based obsession with non-white immigration (including the consistent finger-pointing at 'the Muslims') can be so superficially by-passed when the resurfacing racial tensions are analysed.
And yet Max Hastings' gem about first names is only the pinnacle. For all the talks that "the liberal elite is calling the shots", here we have the best-selling dailies (The Sun, Daily Mail and Express tallying a circulation of around 5 million everyday), constantly frothing at the mouth and tearing Muslims apart with a daily bombardment of half-baked myths, half-truths and outright lies. One of the inevitable results is that a lot of law-abiding British citizens identified as 'Muslims' are increasingly feeling like aliens in their own country. If it isn't their religion, then it's the benefits. If not those, then it's the clothes. Now, apparently, they are guilty of calling their kids "Mohammed".
Finally, a word on the suspicion that Islam is being used as a 'fig leaf' to hide issues related to skin colour.
Max Hastings gives the game away when he writes that, in places like "Birmingham and Leicester [...] Muslims are soon expected to outnumber whites". There you have it. That's what's bugging him.