The most overrated bands in history - Part 2

"Seriously??? How can you not like (...)?"
By Emma Munn

Coldplay
It beggars belief how a band who's singer sounds like a cross between an out of tune Thom Yorke and a trapped cat could be so successful. Bland, insipid, with all the appeal of soggy egg sandwiches on a crap school trip, combined with aimless 'anti-poverty' rhetoric, made all the more pointless by the fact that the band has no idea what the phrase means.

U2
A group of old sods who have been reliant on the same one-string, delay-drowned note for 30 years, fronted by a man with such a superiority complex he makes Phil Collins sound like a manic depressive. The trouble is, they really think they're the best thing since sliced bread. Like a bunch of embarrassing dads.

The Stone Roses

Delusional singer, tuneless, droning dirges a speciality, eerily reminiscent of an irritating student who wants to impress as he goes on and on about how 'fucked' he is. Pathetic.

Queen
Forget the death of Freddie Mercury. Here you have the tackiest, most un-ironically naff band to ever grace this earth, combined with a hefty amount of sheer B-side fodder hidden behind 4 or 5 'classics'. The biggest shame of all is nobody handed Brain May a pair of clippers in 30 years.

Madonna

Arrogant, disgusting, middle-aged cunt who spends her days strapped up in lycra, inflicting her sinewy husk of a body on the public. Can't sing at all. Famous solely for shagging about. Retire, now.

Mark Ronson
Take a well-known song, shove some deeply irritating horns over the top, get the flavour of the month to sing it, then claim world fame. Nothing to do with famous mummy and daddy, obviously. Talentless prat.

Ozzy Osbourne
Bumbling dick who releases laughable cover albums, and has made a living from getting his family to humiliate themselves on television, if you overlook his pitiful career in Black Sabbath. Not forgetting his bat-head antics and pissing on the Alamo. Rock and Roll, man.

Girls Aloud
The Spice Girls, except more like over-buffed fem-bots, and you're not allowed to say they're manufactured tripe because they're all indie now. They walk, they talk, they drink, they swear, and one of them is like, soooo rock & roll because she drinks Jack Daniels from a bottle and hangs around with the Arctic Monkeys. We wait with baited breath until they fall into the abyss, stupid twats.

George Michael
Would rather spend time cottaging in Hyde Park than writing songs. Also responsible for one of the worst facial-hair atrocities in the world. What a waste of talent.

(Read Part 1 here)