You'll have seen that loudmouthed rude man on TV recently: that Nigel Farage. Yes, he's one of us, one of UKIP, the UK Independence Party.
The rudeness, well, when the country's been sold downriver you're likely to get that little irate, being loudmouthed in defence of liberty is no crime.
As to why you should vote for us: a vote for anyone else is wasted. You might as well rip up the ballot paper and use it to clean dog poop off the pavement: we're the only people who think your vote should continue to matter.
The Great Unmentionable of British politics is that Westminster may have been the Mother of Parliaments but she's now less than a regional quango. All the big decisions are taken in Brussels, by people not only we can't vote for, we can't vote against them. Remember when VAT went down 15%? Why didn't it go down further? Against EU rules that would be. Why is the rubbish collected once every other week now? EU rules that is. Can't buy a normal light bulb? EU rules...
80% of our laws on these sorts of things are now made in Brussels by the European Union and all that the British Government, those MPs you're going to be electing in a month or two, can do about it is shout "Yes Sir!". It's actually illegal for them to say no. Which is how we get a law about jams and marmalades which defines carrots as fruit. No, really 'tis true.
We're not against Europe mind: nothing wrong with the Continent, the people, cultures, food or the weather. We're against only the political system of the European Union. We came second in the EuroParliament elections last year, beating Labour into third place. We got elected an Earl, a union shop steward, a farmer, a retired policeman, a history teacher and, yes, that loudmouth in the suit on the telly. We've views on just about everything but the only important one, the one that unites us, is "who rules Britain?".
Who should be making our laws? Should it be the people we elect? Should the law, what we may and may not do without being thrown in pokey, be made by us and for us? We say yes it should. So we should leave the European Union and do as we wish, not as we're told.
And this is why we're the only party worthy of your vote. We're the only people who want to make sure it's worth a damn. Everyone else is quite happy continuing to take orders from Brussels. We'll cooperate with "Europe", of course. Trade freely, work together when we need or want to. But we're the only people who want elections to decide who actually rules us.
Is it us deciding for ourselves? Or them telling us what to do?
Yes, quite, we're adults and we're British, so we'll decide for ourselves thanks very much: vote UKIP.
Tim Worstall is a writer and former UKIP press officer. He blogs at timworstall.com
[Tomorrow: Daniel Hoffmann-Gill into the mind of a BNP voter]