Friday, April 16, 2010

Volcanic ash cloud: Littlejohn calls others "brain-dead imbeciles"!

Coming soon: Katie Price says celebrities look "plasticky" and Jose' Mourinho accuses his colleagues of being arrogant.

You couldn't make it up, really. His favourite "brain-dead" catchphrase has come full circle as the only possible way to describe his pathetic Daily Mail column.

Following the most extraordinary ash spewing in decades, as a volcano erupted (it's still at it now) in Iceland, air traffic across the north of Europe has been paralysed with most flights grounded and airports in the UK, Ireland, Norway, Sweden, Finland and Denmark all shutting their doors for the time being.

The consequences of flying through clouds of volcanic ash are well-known. Particles are likely to jam a plane's engines and cause very serious incidents.

Not, however, according to Top Aviation Expert Richard Littlejohn of Daily Mail fame.

In his words, the massive volcanic eruption doesn't "justify the knee-jerk stupidity which closed every airport immediately". He adds that "[i]t was a breathtaking demonstration of the elf 'n' safety paranoia which has engulfed this country over the past decade".
To him, immense ash clouds that can be actually smelt as far afield as Oslo are the equivalent of a car skidding or a 'crime-scene' investigation. In Littlejohn's brain, grounding planes on the basis of huge amounts of ash that are taking days to clear draws comparisons with a "supermarket butcher" fiddling with a sharp knife.

"The brain-dead imbeciles in charge take a perverse delight in causing the maximum possible inconvenience", adds the man described in 2006 as "the highest-paid newspaper columnist in the country".

As if his own paymasters at the most paranoid newspaper in the country wouldn't be first in the queue to whip up shit if, god forbid, an accident took place because the authorities "had not taken every possible precaution".

'Tell you what, Littlejohn. How about you fly a plane through the volcanic ash cloud and check for yourself and see what happens? That would be a good experiment.

If, after all that, you're still fit to scribble your imbecilic column, then we'll be happy to take your Expert Advice.


Daniel Hoffmann-Gill said...

I'm willing the fat cunt to fly his private jet through some ash, the tosspot.

Andrew King said...

Liked the post - every syllable of ignorant blather Littlejohn's ever written deserves a good monstering. Although if he recieved the amount of abuse he truly deserves, I guess that would be giving him the oxygen of publicity and, to quote the late Linda Smith, I'm not that keen on him having the oxygen of oxygen.

Didn't like the picture though - Littlejohn in Dick Dastardly's plane? Dick Dastardly was a villain, but he had some style, dash and flair. The comparison flatters that tacky, lumpish oaf Littlejohn outrageously.

Madam Miaow said...

His schtick is getting well tired. He needs to dump the computer software churning his stuff out.

Anita said...

Littlejohn...What a man...

Stan Moss said...

So Littleman thinks the whole air travel disruption is just an exercise in health and safety paranoia. Does he even watch the news? Does he think people have time to play little games?
I knew the guy had no shame and little dignity, but this? Because what he wrote and made it t print is really idiocy at the highest level.