Monday, May 31, 2010

The lexicon of doom

A quick journey into the industrial tons of "crowing" churned out by the Mail, daily...

One day scientists are going to come up with findings that reading certain tabloids really is detrimental to the reader's health. It can induce misery, depression, negativity, fear, paranoia and hypochondria.

I don't know if today is a particularly negative one but, as you quickly scroll through today's edition of the Daily Mail Online, you find that almost each single headline contains at least a word of severe doom.

The overall result is so gloomy that, put next to it, a Radiohead or Joy Division track would look like a Vengaboys song by comparison.

If you feel unconvinced, just check this roll call of despair from today's headlines:

...19 activists are killed in a bloody Israeli commando raid; Girl, 15, raped...; Falling 30ft nightclub sign knocks woman unconscious; ...badly sunburnt baby...; Girl, 5, severly injured after being mauled by American bulldog; Katie Price's unhappy family day out; Huge clouds of sand looms large over remote village; Near death experiences explained...; ...rare hormone disorder sees her weight QUADRUPLE; ...'killing kit' of saws, knives and body tissue; Tragedy of brilliant student [...] altitude sickness; War on bogus sales...; Britain's got talent will end with suicide if ridicule continues, warn mental health experts; American cage fighter rips out still-beating heart...; ...teenage fisherman found dead in remote pond; ...Now cabin crew threaten to strike through summer; Being at birth 'can make fathers feel a failure and damage paternal bond'; Former model kicked in the face with stiletto...; Britain shivers on typically chilly bank holiday...; Miracle escape for drummer who fell from balcony and impaled his head on a fence; BP oil leak could last for month...; Royal Marine killed by explosion...; Frenchman with no arms or legs swims set to swim 22 miles...; Career women battling with alcoholism; etc etc...

I need to make myself a cup of tea.

3 comments:

Daniel Hoffmann-Gill said...

I'm joining you in that Claude...

Mr S. Pill said...

Ah, cheer up - the "Best Party" have won seats in Iceland!
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/10194757.stm
Free towels at all swimming pools and a new polar bear for the city zoo, apparently. It's not all volcanoes and collapsing banks up there :)

Madam Miaow said...

I hope you have a nice hobby like flower-arranging as an antidote to all the horridness.

Don't immerse yourself in it. Stare into the abyss for too long and one day you'll find it staring back at you. Or, as my mother used to say, "Keep pulling that face and one day the wind'll change and you'll stick like it."