Simon Cowell, the Emperor of Trash Music. The hairy bloke who -with a little help from the Sun newsroom- lurks behind nine out of ten "entertainment" programmes on TV.
The man who made a fortune the equivalent of a whole country's GDP out of humiliating people on telly and turning music into a circus. The man with biblical levels of self-importance and an ego the size of Liam Gallagher and Alan Partridge's lovechild.
The man who expects to tell you what the charts should look like each and every year.
Yes, him. LA-dwelling multi-millionaire Simon Cowell is now officially "endorsing" the Conservatives.
This is what he said to his mates at the Sun, obviously without the slightest sense of irony: "I have always hated celebrities lecturing people on politics. So forgive me", he blurted.
So what does he do? He writes a tedious, patronising roll call of second hand tabloid cliches called "Simon Cowell's vision for a New Britain", cheesily rounded off with the phrase: "I have seen that the American Dream is a reality - and I would love to feel the British Dream is also a reality".
Make sure you have a bucket at hand.