Tuesday, September 02, 2008

The Daily Mess

Want to stop immigrants flooding Britain? A quick look at the Daily Mail should scare the shit out of them

It's common knowledge that Daily Mail readers have extremely confused opinions. A look at today's issue (2 Sep) and it's easy to see why.

First off, the articles ripping apart Alistair Darling for having admitted the existence of an economic downturn are too many to count. "You're talking Britain down!", "We're all doomed", "Another fine mess", "Killing off hope". That (and more) is the Daily Mail's analysis of the Chancellor's comments. "Talking Britain down"? How rich, from the paper that -if god forbid landed in a foreigner's hands- would put off any perspective visitor to Britain. Five pages on and it's a whirlwind of murderous hoodies and paedophiles, loony leftists and gay rapists, Arab terrorists and toddler-mauling dogs.

But that's just for starters. Helen Mirren revealed that 25 years ago she occasionally enjoyed "a little bit" of cocaine at parties. Good heavens! You get Christopher Hart writing a whole page ("QUEEN OF HYPOCRISY") gnarling at Mirren about the evils of cocaine, arguing that she'd better keep her mouth shut in these Doherty-infested days of glamourised drugs. Nothing exceptional so far. But then Hart attacks (pun unintended) "the lists of celebs" who write "long, whingeing exercise[s] in self-pity routinely called something like My Drug Hell". At which point, the attentive reader should skip to page 32 where he can find the Daily Mail's final instalment (a 2-page feature) of Duran Duran's Andy Taylor's serialised whingeing exercises about their "crazed excesses". We were nearly killed by fame is today's headline; Cocaine, trampolining topless models and Martinis with Elton - Duran Duran, the wild boys of pop, was the first part last week.

That's the Daily Mail for you, guardian angel of the nation's morals.

3 comments:

finnan said...

yeah how about her ill-judged date rape remarks???that the mails fault too???

Ceri said...

Yes, they locked her in a room and forced her to read their shitty Tory rag until she started talking crap. Hell, the Daily Mail probably agrees with her on this.

Socialist Sam said...

That's what I thought!